My first thought of creating this blog is on experimenting whether if I keep posting, it will remind me of my persistent to quit but alas, it never happened. The only benefit I got is the information of how I would end up (but I don't think I would die from it).
Funny! how it became my best friend again during the last few months, I lost count of my consumption per day and I think addiction got worst.
what happened?
A love was lost, not that a person died but my one and only love of my life suddenly, I don't exactly know the right term, maybe faded or lost her love to me. Now I'm sharing her love with some other guy, whom she admitted and I am at lost. Insanity is near, for I don't know what to do. I won't go into details, hell! why should anyone care.
I got so depressed, and I cling on to my prayers and my ever reliable cigarettes, which I thought would eventually kill me but in an instant became my savior.
During those heart smashing, killer pain, and on a brink of insanity and I think death from I don't know how to describe it. my smoking habit worsen but my grinded heart was somehow pampered. I know it's stupid since cigarettes is harmful to our heart but what happened was in reverse.
I still want to quit smoking from what I've known and would still recommend anyone to quit and wish everybody not to have the same fate as mine, but for me, now it gets even harder, since it became my best friend.
Maybe someday I might re-awaken my weak will and re-build again.
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They say, cigarettes are cheapest lovers to get along. But keep it in moderate usage.
ReplyDeleteAllen Sawyer
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